[Scene 1 - Nobody Mourns The Wicked]
Ozians: GOOD NEWS, SHE'S USELESS! THE WITCH OF THE WESTERN IS DEAD! THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS, THE FOE OF ALL INDIVIDUALS HERE IN OUNCES, IS DEAD! GOOD NEWS! GREAT NEWS! Ozian: Appearance, it's Glinda!
Glinda floats in on a giant bubble
Glinda: It's good to see me, isn't very it? (Ozians Agree) No need to respond that was rhetorical. Fellow Ozians:
LET US BECOME GLAD,
LET US END UP BEING GRATEFUL,
LET US REJOICIFY THAT AMAZING BENEFITS COULD SUBDUE
THE INCREDIBLE WORKINGS OF YOU-KNOW-WHO!
ISN'T IT GREAT TO KNOW THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?
THE TRUTH MANY OF US BELIEVE'LL BY AND BY OUTLIVE A LIE FOR YOU AND… Ozian: Glinda! Exactly how useless is she?
Glinda: Well, there have been much gossip and speculation... innuendo, outuendo... but i want to set the record straight. According to the Period Dragon Time, the shedding occurred with the 13th hour; a direct result of a bucket of water placed by a woman child. Certainly, the Wicked Witch with the West can be dead! Ozian: NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
Ozian: NO ONE CRIES THEY WILL NOT RETURN!
Ozians: NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR SERIOUS!
Ozian Man: THE GOOD GUY SCORNS THE WICKED!
Females: THROUGH THEIR LIVES OUR KIDS LEARN!
Ozians: WHAT WE MISS WHEN WE MISBEHAVE!
AND GOODNESS KNOWS THE WICKEDS' LIFE IS LONELY
BENEFITS KNOWS THE INCREDIBLE DIE ALONE
IT JUST SHOWS WHEN YOU'RE WICKED YOU'RE LEFT ONLY ON YOUR OWN Ozians:
YES, GOODNESS KNOWS THE WICKEDS' LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS THE WICKED CRY ALONE
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED
THEY EXPERIENCE ONLY WHAT THEY'VE SEWN
Ozian: Glinda, why does wickedness happen?
Glinda: This is a good question; one that many people locate confusifying. Are people created wicked, or perhaps do they have wickedness thrust after them? After all, she had a childhood, She had a daddy, who merely happed as the governor of munchlinkland.. Witch's Parents Enter.
Frex: I'm away to the set up, dear.
Glinda: She had a mother, as so many perform...
Frex: HOW I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY
Melena: GOWNS ALRIGH IS ACTUALLY ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT
Frex: BUT REALIZE THAT YOU'RE HERE, IN MY HEART WHILE I'M OUT OF YOUR EYESIGHT! Frex Exits. An admirer Runs Into The bedroom.
Glinda: And like every families, they had their secrets.
INCLUDE ANOTHER DRINK, MY DARK EYED SPLENDOR,
I'VE RECEIVED ONE MORE NIGHTTIME LEFT THROUGHOUT TOWN,
SO HAVE AN ADDITIONAL DRINK OF GREEN ELIXER
AND WE'LL HAVE OURSELF A LITTLE MIXING MACHINE
POSSESS ANOTHER SMALL SWALLOW SMALL LADY,
AND FOLLOW ME PERSONALLY DOWN
Glinda: And of course, as soon as she was created she was... well... diverse! Midwife: AHHH!! It's arriving!
Midwife: The baby's coming!
Frex: And how!
Midwife: I REALIZE A NOSTRIL!
Frex: I SEE A CRIMP!
Both: IT'S A HEALTHY, EXCELLENT, LOVELY SMALL...
Melena: What is it? What's wrong?
Midwife: HOW CAN IT BE?
Frex: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Midwife: IT'S ATTROCIOUS!
Frex: IT CAN OBSCENE!
JUST LIKE A FROGGY,
FERNY WEIGHT LOSS PLANS,
THE BABY CAN BE UNATURALLY
Frex: Consider it aside... Take this away!!!!
Glinda: So you see, this couldn't had been easy!
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
NOW AT LAST, SHE'S DEAD AND GONE!
NOW EVENTUALLY THERE'S HAPPINESS THROUGHOUT THE TERRAIN!
AND GOODNESS IS AWARE OF (GOODNESS KNOWS)
WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS IS USUALLY (OOOOHHHH)
AMAZING BENEFITS KNOWS, THE WICKED DIE ALONE (SHE DIED ALONE)
WOE TO PROSPECTS (WOE TO THOSE) WHO SPURN WHAT GOODNESSES THEY ARE SHOWN! NO-ONE MOURNS THE WICKED (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE MOURNS THE EVIL (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE MOURNS...
THE WICKED... WICKED... WICKED!!!!!
Glinda: Very well, this has been entertaining! But as you can imagine I have much to attend to, what with the Wizard's sudden departure. So , if you will discover no further inquiries... Ozian: Glinda, is it true you were her friend?
Glinda: Very well, I... you see... um... yes.
Even louder Gasps
Glinda: Well, it depends on whatever you mean simply by " friend".
She Motions Her Bubble Downward.
I did find out her. That is, our pathways did cross... at college. But you must understand, it absolutely was a long time ago and we were...